Tuesday, 28 June 2022

Chapter 3 First advice about men.

 Chapter 3   First Advice

  If you go to a single sex school, you can reach the age of 18 and

hardly exchange ten words with the opposite sex. I came from a home

where there was no discussion of love, of relationships, of sex - there

was simply no reference to these subjects unless they forced

themselves into view.

   During my Saturday forays into town I had met a young man, over six

feet tall, with long curly hair and a strange poetic way of speaking, called

Wolf. He’d talk to me and let me accompany him to a job interview if he

  was made to attend one by the dole office, although he had no

intention of being chosen for a job. He lived in a large, spare bed-sitter,

And he took me to a ‘spade’ party where black men of all ages were

dancing. He actually took no real interest in me. He held court in the

Wimpey Bar as he cut his matches into two, slicing them lengthways

with a knife, which years later I heard was something men did in prison.

A group of us went into a little room provided to listen to records in a  

shop in town and made requests for various long-playing records all

afternoon until we were asked to leave with the complaint that we came

in every week and never bought anything.

   Wolf was no danger to me, he sort of tolerated me. Danger came from

a man who offered me £5 as I waited for my bus, a boy who jumped off

a scooter to demand attention as I walked home from another bus stop,

and a young man my Father thought so polite because he called Dad

‘Sir’ when he drove me home, but somehow I remained unscathed.

   One day I took Wolf and his friend John home for tea. My Dad was

out. We all sat down with my Mother having ham on plates with  a bit of 

lettuce and tinned peaches after. Then we three young people went up

to my room and sat on the floor to listen to Elgar on the dancette record

player. They didn’t even smoke. When my Dad got home he sent Mum

up. She knocked on the door and told me my Dad said we were to come

down at once. ‘What does he think we’re doing? There’s three of us’, I

said, so innocently unaware  that three people might do anything that

one of them’s Father could object to.

   Afterwards my Mother gave me what were her only ever words of

advice on the subject of men. “He’s good-looking dear [she knew it was

Wolf not the chaperone I liked] but don’t get too fond of him will you, he

hasn’t a job or any money’ That was all, no references to her

experience, to examples in the family, no discussion, no questions, one

remark, never forgotten because it stands out in the sea of nothingness.

   With this background I approached Freshers Week with my main

worry would any boy ever ask me out and would I die before I

experienced sex, was I too unattractive to be ever happily settled like

 Bryony? I did not ask myself how to be selective, how to avoid harm,

what qualities I wanted in a man, what precautions to take to suss

someone out. It was as blank a subject as Italian, to be started next

week as a subsidiary to art history.

  The thought of entering the Union Buiding for the first evening, where

all sorts of films and talks and music was going on, and thousands of

young people, over half being men mostly studying five different kinds of

engineering, was a bit daunting.

   I walked in and up the stairs and approached a large room with rock

music blaring out, and as I crossed the threshhold a red-haired boy said,

‘Do you want to dance?’

  Evidently it was as easy as that, as easy as breathing to meet a man,

And later as easy as sitting in the arboretum for five minutes, it was a

problem to fend them off, to develop a sufficiently haughty exterior, an

unconnecting, uncomprehending distance, a sharp retort, but I could

start on that tomorrow.

  I left that first evening with another kiss and a promise to go out but still

not an inkling that I was attractive, my long brown hair, green eyes, my

liveliness, my youth, no one had led me to suspect that I was nice -

looking in my whole family. The only attention was from the Uncle I

hated, so some useful warding off scorn had been developed there. My

parents were always nervous lest the children got too big for their boots,

too uppity, too sure of themselves, too obnoxiously self-confident, a sort

of working-class protection against making any sort of fool of yourself, or 

any wild success either.

Singing in competitions got by because it came from a teacher with an

academic purpose. Ballet lessons were not allowed, probably for lack of

money, but money was another taboo subject. What did we talk about?

  There were less communicative families, later I knew a man who had

never had any sort of discussion at home, no you speak and then me

and then you in turns all on the same subject. He did not expect me to

reply or to ask questions. At home yes they had sat around a table to eat

and now and then someone spoke, but it was like a stone thrown in a

pool, everyone watched the ripples intil it was quiet again and the stone

fell to the bottom and no remark was made, no questions, no maybe or if

you, or why.

   On meeting the red-haired boy again I was able to see, just the

passing crowds behind him made this clear, that he wasn’t very good-

looking. His skin was too pink and his eyelashes pale and flickery and

his way of speaking was from another world, from the south. It was

scarcely worth investigating, an instinct as strong as hating something

you’re offered to eat, like suet pastry, drummed in my ears. I took a deep

breath. ‘Its no good, I’m not attracted to you’, a moment of awkwardness

as he turned away and walked off sullenly, and I was free and happy 

again with a thousand possibilities and tomorrow the Art School and the

Art School dance.

  In town the Art School was a beautiful old Victorian buiding with

classical arches and high ceilings. The new recruits, whether the many

pre-diploma students or the ten BA oddities, were in a room up the road

in a dilapidated annexe. We stowed the required kit in our lockers. My

big tin of cow gum was the wrong way up and it leaked, suspending my

pastels  in a disgusting gunk.

  The first term was a simple diet of drawing, a skeleton, a caste of a

male torso, and morning, afternoon and evening one of two male

models, alternating between John the Baptist, long-haired and shivering,

or a compact body buiding muscle twitching to music in nightclubs

specimen of manhood, or a middle aged amply built woman. In the

corner was a Bob Dylan look-a-like with a bush of black hair who didn’t

take up a drawing board but hung about and rarely spoke. We drew,
 
with pencil, ink, paint, charcoal, pastels, torn paper, endlessly.

Eventually I learnt that the nervous young man in the corner was the

tutor, straight from the Royal College of Art for a couple of days and then

back to London.

   At this point Victor Burgin was already making conceptual art, 

photographing a parquet floor and attaching the photo to the part of the

floor it was a photo of. Somehow he’d got this job in the provinces where

in 1967 they still drew from a life model and maybe he didn’t have

anything to say about it. He just let us get on with it.

  After the first session somehow someone knew to not go to the

canteen but to s stylish little cafe called ‘The L-shaped room’. It had low

coffee tables and plastic cups.

Similarly at lunchtime I was swept along with Bryony and the others to

‘The Empire’. It was down a few steps into a hot dark room like Van

Gogh’s night cafe, full of navvies and other workmen. The food was

written up on a board, you asked for it, paid for it, sat down all squashed

around large tables and they called out,’breakfast one extra sausage’

and if it was yours you shouted ‘here’ and it arrived swimming in grease.

I had never been anywhere like it but it was The place to go and also the

Nottingham working class accent was The way to talk.

  Then I was up a bus ride out to the University campus  the other two

days.

 One girl was from Nottingham, the one whose Father was a Doctor, one

had a Father who was a Swiss Gnome, one had a Father who was a

Professor at Edinburgh University, one had a Dad with a successful


haulage business, and there was me, whose Dad was an insurance

collector. So I was the only one who had lived in a house with an outside

toilet and no bathroom but a tin bath kept in the cellar and brought up

once a week to  the kitchen. I was afraid every day in French oral at my

grammar school that this shame would be found out, never considering

that I could lie.

We’d moved the next year and I went to school from one house and

back to another, from terraced to completely detached. From the house

near the Tuckers’ chaotic life within sight and hearing and their pigeons

circling every night, from being the house they came to in emergencies

to shout into the phone as most people didn’t have one, to the never

really meeting neighbours either side of a busy road and all behind

laurel hedges.

  There were four young men on the BA, one older student who mixed

very little, but once pointed out that drawing a woman was not in fact

much like drawing fruit in a bowl, two working class boys from the North,

one charming and amusing with a girlfriend called Plum, the other rough

and rude who hardly worked at all until the end when in a master stroke

he made a full size canvas the size of Gericault’s ‘The Raft of the

Medusa’ and just stenciled this title in the middle, and passed with 

homours on the strength of that one bold gesture. One was quiet with a

Newcastle accent, thoughtful and unusual and he knew a lot, with a

girlfirend who visited most weekends. The last was a bluff folk singer

from Dorset who copied his essay not realising that the tutor would

know. Mr Pickvance let him read the essay in its entirety brefore asking

him why he’d copied it from a book in the library. He left or was made to

leave. And then there were nine.
    
   At the Art School dance, held in town at a nightclub, I found myself in

the queue for coats in front of a slightly older man who asked me what I

did. ‘Very little’ I said, ‘I’m one of the BAs’ This was received with a wry

smile from Steve Willats, who turned out to be another of the tutors.



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